Changed.

Hindsight is a bitch.

It has been 2 years and 2 months since I last wrote in this blog, and oh my, how things have changed!

I have a full time job now, and more importantly, a passion that propels me forward again.

Looking back, it seems like an natural progression; I obviously wasn’t going to be lost without a job and a sense of direction forever.

Duh!

It did NOT feel like that back at the time, though.

I was so stuck. Quitting my PhD was quitting my identity: everything that I had always wanted be, all the years of hard work that I had put into becoming a researcher…All, thrown out of the window.

And the worst of it all was that I had thrown it away without a back up plan. I had no idea about how I was going to get unstuck. I didn’t know who I was anymore, how was I supposed to know what I wanted to pursue professionally?

I felt trapped.

But I kept moving, looking for anything that would make my spark come back again.

And eventually, I found it.

A Sales and Accounts Manager role.

Yeah, I know, not the most appealing job title. I didn’t like sales (and I still don’t!) but something about the job description caught my interest.

Well, I know what that something was. Two things, actually.

They needed someone with a scientific background and a creative mindset.

Tick, tick.

And yes, I would be doing selling but I would also be doing…marketing.

Marketing.

That definitely was appealing! Can you imagine being in charge of making successful marketing campaigns? Writing copy, designing flyers, going to conferences and events…I mean, I could!!

I obviously didn’t know much about what marketing really was, but I was ready to find out.

About 1 month and 2 interviews later, there I was, with a job offer. And a job offer no where else but in England.

Scared, happy, excited, unsure if going back to England was a good move…but unstuck. With a path and a direction. A job where I could use my scientific background but where I could also explore my creative side.

Looking back, it seems like a natural progression. How could I have felt so stuck when, naturally, a marketing job for a scientific company had all the ingredients necessary to make me happy?

But until fully functional crystal balls are invented, we are always going to be unable to know what opportunity the future will bring.

In moments of struggle, of uncertainty and or of stuckness, we just need to continue moving forward. Carrying along the way with us the dread, the anxiety and the sadness that characterise these moments in life. And eventually, sooner or later, first attempt or eighth, the opportunity will arise. Your spark will return, and you’ll look back and think, how could I have felt so stuck when the answers where in front of me all along?

Hindsight is a bitch, my friends.