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Time to change things around

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy or, unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.

— M. Scott Peck.

Last week I decided to changed things around in my life…just a tiny little bit.

I decided to leave my PhD, after 3 years working on it.

From the very beginning of my undergraduate degree in chemistry, I always saw myself doing a PhD and working in a lab, so even I got shocked when I realised that this was not the right path for me.

It has been a really tough decision and one that has taken me a lot of time to take. I spent several months constantly changing my mind, worrying whether I was doing the right thing or if I was just going insane.

But then, I realised that what I was most worried about was what other people would think of me: what would my family say? What would they say at a job interview? What would I say on a date? And at that moment, I knew that I wasn’t doing this PhD for the right reasons and that I needed to listen to myself and to how it was making me feel.

Feeling deeply unhappy, unmotivated, frustrated, constantly in the verge of crying and unable to enjoy all the other good things that I had around, was not worth experiencing just because I was scared of what other people would think if I left.

As soon as I made this decision, I knew I had done the right thing. A huge weight was lifted from my shoulders and I was able to breath again.

I feel proud I’ve been able to listen to myself and that I’ve had the courage to fight against old limiting believes that were making me feel so stuck.

So here’s for a new me, one that is not afraid to follow the paths that she wants to follow, for unconventional or scary that they might seem. Proud and happy to change.

————————————

[ES]

La semana pasada decidí cambiar mi vida…un pelín.

He decidido dejar mi doctorado, después de 3 años.

Desde que empecé la carrera de químicas, siempre me vi haciendo un doctorado y trabajando en el laboratorio, así que descubrir que este no era realmente mi camino, ha sido una sorpresa hasta para mi.

Ha sido una decisión súper dura, una que me ha costado mucho tiempo tomar. Pasé varios meses cambiando de opinión constantemente, sin estar segura de si tomaba la decisión correcta o si me estaba volviendo loca.

Pero un día, me di cuenta de que lo que realmente me preocupaba era qué pensarían los demás: ¿qué pensaría mi familia? ¿Qué pensarían en una entrevista de trabajo? ¿Qué diría en una posible cita? Y en ese momento me di cuenta de que no podía continuar el doctorado por esos motivos.

No me merecía la pena el sentirme tan triste, desmotivada, frustrada, constantemente a punto de llorar, e incapaz de disfrutar del resto de cosas buenas que tenía alrededor, simplemente por el miedo que dirían los demás si lo dejase.

En cuanto tomé la decisión de dejarlo, supe que había hecho lo correcto. Me quité un peso enorme de encima y pude respirar de nuevo.

Estoy súper orgullosa de mi por haberme escuchado y por haber luchado contra creencias antiguas que me estaban haciendo sentir tan estancada.

Así que esto es por mi nueva yo, una que no tiene miedo de seguir su propio camino, por poco convencional o por difícil que parezca. Orgullosa y feliz de cambiar.

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